Dont know what todo he wont talk about his Lets face it, as women age, many lose sex drive, along with experiencing a good number of other sexual problems. I am Married 47 years, I am 67 she is 70. Ive slept in my own bedroom for 43 of those years. Shame on all you women who have men that are committed and loving to you!! Nor, is it a reasonable demand that you need (should) accept. We havent had sex in over a year and a half because of my wifes lack of interest. Perhaps, some counseling might even help. Make time when you are both relaxed. My husband stopped 25 years ago when he couldnt get it up. I would divorce him but whats the point. I spent 36 years with a man who I was never good enough for and now in a relationship with a man who loves me and is so kind. You both shatter into a million pieces, and when you emerge from the depths of pain for air, you find that though you are still in love with each other, nothing will ever be the same again. Were in a lifetime partnership. Theres nothing wrong with giving yourself sexual pleasure. Your children can/will respect only what they see and experience. If you think your wife avoids intimacy because of an underlying condition, its best to seek medical help at the earliest. 30 years in sexless marriage. Its no secret that sex after marriage tends to become monotonous, especially if neither partner makes an effort to keep the fire of passion burning. There are many causes, physical and emotional, why your wife wont have sex with you anymore. Never once I have ever forced myself in any way on my wife. I feel I am too old to move on by myself, most everything in our relationship is good, but sex is very bad. Find someone who finds you attractive, become more attractive, get in shape (thats key). John, where do you live, and do you play golf regularly without your wife ? If thats the case, try to build a successful relationship after cheating; own up to your mistakes, have a heart-to-heart conversation with her and assure her that its all in the past. Estrogen levels drop while a woman is transitioning into menopause, which can cause vaginal dryness and cause sex to be painful or just downright uncomfortable. I am 64 years old and I have not had sex with my wife for about 7 years, she is 59 years old. We could be spontaneous. I have not had an affair because, well, thats just not me. Wooing is a life-long endeavor. It hard to bud out. Thrown into menopause way too young. With so many of us in similar situations, it would be nice if we could just reshuffle the deck, at least in this one area. })(); My wife avoids spending time with me. If this is a real concern for you then ask yourself was there ever any infidelity or cheating on your part? To me, that is emotional abuse. Fully. I self reflected and starting cooking again, especially on her late nights. // IMPORTANT: Replace EXAMPLE with your forum shortname! I was sleep-deprived for the first four months, getting about three and half hours of sleep a night. Maybe there are areas of your marriage to be worked on, maybe a little couples' therapy will make a big difference, or maybe it's time to consider whether this marriage is really worth holding on to. And pressure is a total libido killer that can set off a cycle of sexual avoidance, according to AASECT-certified sex therapist Jessa Zimmerman, M.A. Its a two-way street as are most things in marriage. Susan!!! Could it be that your wife avoids intimacy and shuns the idea of making love? The reasons behind why a wife avoids physical contact can range from marital discord to just being burned out, says Gopa. If you have always been the one to initiate intimacy in your relationship, take a step back and tell her how sexy you think it would be for her to be the one to reach out. Remember what you felt, believed, and why. Im throwing my partner out the door due to his rants and anger over lack of sex. . I cant live another 30 years with him like thus. Be explicit about your needs and expectations. No intimacy!!! The experts have very little to offer. With out being rude . Or does it not matter what the man wants? We have had a lot of therapy through the years, but even after all this time I feel sexually numbed, completely disinterested and unable to respond.i still feel the need to be held by him and I love him so much, I felt so guilty. What to do about it: If you've talked about all the other reasons on this list and mutually feel great about your relationship (talk to her about thisdon't assume! But she works in a male-dominated field and loves to flirt this drives me bat shit crazy as I know I will never be there with her again. Stayed for the kids (gone now) and because I dont WANT to be divorced but I am so painfully alone. My wife never initiates any form of Intimacy let alone Sex. Its been a lonely and humiliating experience. I was not going to reward her or fall into another hug with nothing more than a few seconds of holding, and then a push off. this.page.url = PAGE_URL; Intimacy isnt about sex, its about being close in more ways than sexually. Over time, expressions of love change form and that unbridled passion can begin to dull down. When women feel used and men dont ever reciprocate, of course they lose interest. Most women who go through postpartum depression also find it increasingly difficult to get physically involved. Nobody tells you about this stuff in premarital counseling Our marriage still isnt consummated, and this grieves me as I yearn to be loved in this way. The role only involves the two lovers and an invited therapist they consented to. It's possible that your wife is no longer attracted to you or perhaps no longer interested in being married to youthough just note, a lowered libido alone is not necessarily indicative of a larger problem with the relationship. Do you feel my wife never initiates intimacy? Best to all. Yes, life is complicated indeed, but I dont believe there is a season for sex and then not a season for it. I lived with her for a year after a very contentious divorce from the mother of my children who cheated. Bonobology.com is the couple-relationship destination for Indians everywhere! Feeling loved and getting affection, including sex is important to me. If he would quit his demands, realize Im not who I was, be cheerful and easy, love life and just lighten up, Id make sure he is sexually satisfied WAY MORE OFTEN. We dont really argue and enjoy each others company. I understand women loss interest but still love there husbands and dont want a divorce and most of the time its the same for the guy, I just wish women would be open to their husbands having discreet affairs, not prostitutes just flings. Because we always hear guys complaining! Feeling this discrepancyor feeling like your partner is always asking for sex when you don't want itcan make the lower-libido person feel pressured into having sex. Isnt it such a shame that Bob here, says he masturbates 3x a week and Im sitting here daydreaming what it would feel like to have it again after years that my husband just cant. and hugs when one of us leaves the house. Problem or seek medical help. Shes my buddy. Fix for this is just deal with it and do your own thing, or just leave. Does your wife struggle with self-love? 18 months later I was told NO sex, by the way we had not had regular sex for near 15 years, and Sexless for near 10. Just told her I wasnt going to follow all her B.S rule and moved out of the bedroom. I told him if he didnt want a divorce, he should feel free to find date outside the marriage, and if anything serious developed, we would revisit the divorce option. NOw he works well and Im proud of him for that. Every month in Sex at Our Age, award-winning senior sexpert Joan Price answers your questions about everything from loss of desire to solo sex and partner issues. Bull. I dont mean to downgrade the pain someone feels with this, but there are levels to everything. Most dont ever have this figured out. Cancer is pretty much a death sentence. So our sex lives dwindled until around 15 years ago she realized a more regular sex life might be a good thing. My wife has offered to let me move on, the problem is I love her and everything else about our relationship. She had here ovaries removed due to cancer risk, after sex was painful and pussy all dried up, tried lubes and no luck and still painful when my rock hard penis went in her sweet pussy. My hubby is one happy camper. Here are some reasons that your wife might never initiate getting intimate with you in the bedroom. We are all just CroMagnon reborn. But I do it, why? Been married 20 years . Senior Planets comments are open for all readers/subscribers; we love hearing from you! But how does that viewpoint help you find happiness in life? Yet she constantly professes love. This isnt totally new for him either. We are both quite healthy but she has little interesting sex now. I look good for my age and am so tempted to look for another relationship. And I suffer. I'll go out on a limb and suggest that your wife isn't sexually aroused by being treated well. . Childbirth is a life-altering experience thats not just hard on a womans body but also her mind. Accept her no lovingly, masturbate, and initiate again another day. Without the energy of wooing, the fear of missing out if we do not woo, we fall into complacency and boredom. Im 65, shes 70. What to do about it: Using lube can help immensely with vaginal dryness and pain, and including more clitoral stimulation and sex toys can help make sure sexual experiences continue to be pleasurable for your wife. Would you expect your wife to attach as much emotional significance to cooking dinner as to making love? Share your feelings with your wife openly, honestly, and vulnerably without expecting it to lead to something physical. So my question to the men here. Hopefully, you now know just what to work on, with the help of the reasons why your wife never initiates physical contact. Every study I have ever seen says its over twice as likely for the woman to be the one withholding. We went to a number of therapists but none were able to help. If your wife avoids intimacy constantly, paying attention to the emotional bond you share with her may be a good starting point. Let the in-laws or best friend care for your children for a day or two. Even if it is difficult, do everything you can to put yourself in her shoes. If your wife is pregnant or has had a baby in the last year, it could be a mix of pure exhaustion and wild hormones that are causing her libido to be off kilter. Where is their allegiance to you? Avoiding divorce, men have two choices, acceptance/celibacy or cheating. Needless to say, both of us are feeling a renewed awareness of who we were and now are. Here is what the problem is when it comes to SEX. I am a married woman of 69 and my husband (also 69) lost all interest in sex quite some time ago. accuse me of not loving her enough, if I had to cheat back. I am NEVER ENOUGH so why even bother? I feel like Ive been through hell. She can also talk to her doctor to see what options are available to support her libido. I dont know why your husband would even want to be intimate with you, you sound like a harpy. An undiagnosed, underlying medical condition can also be the reason for a decreased sex drive. Additionally, she should see an endocrinologist who can check her thyroid. Instead, tell her how much you love being intimate with her, not only because it feels great but because it makes you feel more connected to her. If you notice intimacy is fading from your marriage, heres what to do when your wife wont touch you. In addition, he doesnt suffer from ED or any other similar issue, but he seems to feel that sex is for procreation and once that part of life is over (as it surely now is), so is sex! I love him and want to please him even if I feel nothing or just help him reach release. That last sentence got my attention. We just share our acerage, her in the house and I have a place with my dettached out building. Having children may be one reason intimacy has decreased in your marriage, but it is not the only reason. Is this the case with your guy or does he nave no urges at all? While its true that marriage isnt for everyone, it certainly isnt worthless. Wtf do you think he has been doing. For me my wife has me feeling guilty and hesitant and re framing from touching her in any way. if you want to get married for children just understand that your wife will stop wanting to have sex with you after she gets her babies. Related Reading: How To Survive A Sexless Marriage Without Cheating. However, if the unfortunate situation arises where your wife never initiates physical contact because shes having an affair, you need to deal with it gently. Women arent suitable for long term monogamy. But this woman kept me in her heart and mind for fifty years. What about the emotional security of being held while you sleep? **Women are constantly told to shut up and accept. When your wife avoids physical contact, it could be because of resentment, 13. And I cook, shop for food, take care of dogs and have. Sharing your desires is essential, as is listening to her needs. His needs count too. Hello Will, Once the children appeared on the scene I would never have done anything that would risk us splitting up. Juggling household and professional responsibilities single-handedly is no easy feat. This ad is displayed using third party content and we do not control its accessibility features. My wife determined several years ago that she no longer has that connection to me, and will eventually leave. Not so in an egalitarian or woman-dominated marriage where she gets what she wants that always ends in dysfunction & misery. He never smiles? Her vagina is dry as a bone and she doesnt like penetration at all, either from me or her own fingers. We lose ourselves. Couples counseling can help the two of you get back on track in your marriage and the bedroom. Harley, I am doing none of those things. Sadly that BIG thing was Give Up Sex and just get over it. LoL. that you would love to have *that* him back in your life. I respect your right to your opinion, but to say that an egalitarian relationship always ends in dysfunction & misery is unfounded and far from true. You can bring up your feelings about the importance of sex in your relationship so that she knows and can let you know what she has the capacity for. 4 Things to Teach Your Kids to Stand Up For, 5 Things Teens Need But Wont Ever Ask For, 4 Things You Can Do When Youre Not in the Mood, 20 Great Conversation Starters for Great Marriages. In fact, I dont even feel were friends at this point, as we rarely speak to one another (unless I initiate a conversation) and whenever I try and initiate any affection or even merely suggest sex, he bristles, becomes hostile and defensive and thats that. Men empathize with women in a way that women do not with men; men *want* to make decisions that benefit women, individually and as a group (the Women are Wonderful effect, which both men and women exhibit). Once we get a savings built up, we are going to enjoy life and enjoy ourselves even more. If a couple's sex life continues to follow a routine that doesn't tend to feel good for the woman, she may lose interest in having sex entirely. I would leave and strive to take care of her financial needs until she is able to take care of herself or meets a man her age or older who is happy as a roommate. That is love. Loved and desired! It is one of the classic signs of a cheating wife and if your gut tells you somethings up, it may be worth investigating it a bit further. So, I guess Ill just embrace the suck. Richard C Bob, my wife is the same way, says she feels bad she has zero interest in sex, but doesnt offer anything like oral or HJ either. (Note to women reading this thread: though the accepted wisdom is women love big penises, Ive found in my experience that its certainly not universal. This break down could be for a number of reasons: Some are directly related to her man. We try not to get in each others way and we havent had a conversation in years. It is time to say, I am horny as hell, and I am tired of pretending I am not because I am over 50!. Do this consistently, eat a mostly protein based diet and cut out sugar for 6 months and report back. It is sad when u see other men drooling over me but the one I want. We are wired so differently. Im 47 and this happened to me. Even too much Viagra can cause things like blindness. If your penis does not work, attempt to fix it. Ya over 40 years with out not a problem. If your wife never initiates affection, its time to take the pressure off. . Nathan I am in exactly the same position as you. 5509 W. Gray Street, Suite 100Tampa, FL 33609(813) 222-8300, Copyright 2022 Family First, INC. All Rights Reserved.Site Design by Design Extensions, 4 Things to Do When Your Wife Wont Touch You. I am a man who has been married for 48 years and to read The man must rule by demanding to get what he wants suggests a serious mental illness. But dont give up! Sometimes I just want fuck all night long but the woman I love has no interest. I never cared about sex when I was 35 or now at 76! Please explain to me. It is not fair that I have to take care of it by myself! Maybe I should start trying to ease my husband into this conversation because we have been having sex rarer and rarer these past few years. So, I know my only option is accept this is my life from here on. Yes, totally wrong. After menopause she lost interest in sex because of vaginal atrophy. But men also have 12-15 times more testosterone than women far higher sex drives and are capable of siring hundreds of times more children than women are capable of bearing. This is relevant for anyone with anxiety about their body (which, unfortunately, is true for the vast majority of women), but it may be particularly relevant for women as they age, go through childbirth, or simply experience changes to their body over time. None the less partners have to also accept it is something you dont get used to or get over. Since abstinence for so long Im wondering what will happen if a woman takes an interest in a 70-year-old man. Spend the same time you are researching and pursuing prostitutesworking out and looking healthier and bettering your relationship. Wish I could off you more of a solution but I think things either go on the way they are or there has to be come conclusion. We are starting to fight a lot and twice I heard him on the phone throwing me under the bus to someone. I am sorry I stayed, but life, illness, dementia parents and a son kept me in this sexless marriage. I am a little older but want intimacy so bad.
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