I received my bachelors degree in adolescent counselling just last June. I pray for all of you. My daughter knows that Im pregnant and its a very stressful and uncomfortable situation. It could take several hours for the baby to die, and sometimes the baby didn't die at all and was born . After I check in, I have to take another urine test. So heartbroken. Its so irresponsible of me i know, but i dont want him to feel like Im trying to use this new baby as a way to rekindle our relationship that in reality was not that good. Did you end up keeping your baby ? According to Florida's Reducing Fetal and Infant Mortality law, which was implemented last July, abortions are prohibited after 15 weeks of gestation, with a few exceptions, including one that. And the dad is on pills really bad and i didnt find out until it was too late. I think Id end up more broken than ever. I want to help the conversation start on a different platform and educate. When I had my daughter, he unfortunately couldnt be there and I raised her on my own until she was about 6 years old. I can identify , however the thought of another pregnancy scared me.. so I never wanted another child.. after this..This was 28 years later, I am in the same boat currently. I opted for the surgical procedure because I was told it would be the quickest. Davis, a mother of three, is fundraising online to cover the cost of traveling out of state to get an abortion. It was hard but I dont regret it. Then I found out I was pregnant! Im so confused and torn between getting an abortion or keeping the baby. Some in the anti-abortion movement use the song, or . Diary of an Unborn Child is the title of an anonymously-written anti-abortion article which was first read on the floor of the New York Senate in 1970. We talked all weekend, tried finding ways to make it work but we both knew it wasnt the time because of so many factors, the big ones being my health and finances. When I told him I was pregnant the first thing he said is lets get a chicken sandwhich. Hi. I was very sad.! On the day of the appointment I cried so much I couldnt get myself to do it and as time went on I decided to keep him. I just knew it was my girl I prayed for. Ill be 43 when the child would be born. This is your decision and you must do what feels right for you. He keeps trying to make me have the child and give my child full custody and I feel like he wants to rob me because I cant afford to have a child of my own. Would adoption be something you could manage? In her 2021 memoir, Teresa Leet shares her experiences in both having an abortion and placing her baby for adoption.While the abortion caused her years of emotional trauma, she has no regrets about choosing adoption.. A lack of knowledge about abortion. She wo t talk to anyone as she feels she would be seen as weak. I am so sorry you had to go through this. The baby daddy is crying too because we have a lot to achieve in life and this isnt what we expected. But I cant help but feel a deep sense of loss and regret over ending the pregnancy. Its so unfair that guys help in making the baby. I'm just a tiny someone, I support your decision and Im here no matter what. In the moment I feel I should be appreciative, but for the first time, I feel angry about my body, my choice. Cant, wont someone just tell me what to do?! I didnt go through with the abortion, I couldnt once seeing my baby but ever since deciding to keep my baby Im still. I wish I had advice or something magical to say to make everything all betterI dont. And just as I had for months prior, I did so with ease, telling myself, What another waste of $15. See, my boobs hurt and were swollen; I was tired; I was hungry. Both in you, as a memory, and in heaven as a person, for eternity. I feel so empty and outright irresponsible. I hope you are healing well and have found happiness in other ways, until one day you and your unborn baby see each other again. Even my close friends dont know this time. Im struggling with this decision. Im 33. Anti-abortion and abortion-rights activists argue their viewpoints on the steps of the State House in Trenton, N.J., April 30, 1973. Im balling my eyes out googling help topics because I miss her so much. I recently found out I was pregnant after having a late period. My boyfriend and I have only been dating a few months. To explain the center's work, Pinson told a story about a girl who showed up with her mom on the morning the Heartbeat Act took effect, asking for an abortion. I dont know where Im going to go or how Im going to make this work but Im terrified. I might have forgotten what I learned and failed my license exam in the future since Id have to take a leave. I had an abortion past the point of having the pill so had to have the surgery, It was the most painful time of my life physically and emotionally and I never expected it would continue to haunt me. He tosses me the plastic bag with my burrito and chips (along with several containers of salsa that I didnt ask for but he knows me well enough to bring them anyway), and asks, with little emotion, Whats wrong? I sit down and ask him to sit too, and he does so, across the room. Physically or health wise and its not suppose to be this way. Must be awful. It has the potential to work, but like you said, doesnt make sense no matter how hard you look at it. My heart is breaking but I cant have another child on my own. I still was no where near ready for how much my life would have to change. I can hardly keep up with what I have now in my life. Thankyou all for sharing your stories + most of all the letter to the little light. He is quite a bit older than me and has 2 kids of his own already. I have been sleeping with a guy unprotected for a year now last month I got pregnant and I had a miscarriage I never told him because we are not together. I feel like I have to get the abortion or he will resent me and our relationship will be over. You can always come back. I tell her, I cant. Im honest enough with myself to know that if I leave, I will never will come back. Im not mad at you anymore. This is my first time reading a story that actually resonates with the bittersweetness if my own experience. A lot of people who are not able to have children would love to adopt. We done the best we could at the time, and thats all we can do. Im currently in the exact situation. Sometimes I wish I still had my baby. But I want my baby so bad. Like you, i have always wanted to be a mom and it was so hard to make this decision. Yet, I have an appointment with my Dr on Monday. Those options may be easier, less expensive, and more in reach than you think. Weve been married about 10 years and I have children from my previous marriage that she loves as well but cant help being jealous of. I didnt want to do this. I dont want to lose you. I know Im going to love him when he is here but in the time being I am just purely struggling. He made it clear that he did not want to have another child and truly no matter how bad I felt I wanted my baby, I did not want to do it by myself. I told my cousin and she said that his name sounded familiar and asked around. Im just lost. We wouldnt. Take care. Again, I sleep in the same room as your dad that night, and when my alarm goes off, I get ready to take the bus to work. I will be 37 years old and have had previous abortions but after this miscarriage (I never had one before), fear that I will never conceive again came across me. I hoped the pain and loss in my gut would fade away over time but it hasnt. Ive just got an amazing job that I cant afford to give up, I suffered badly with my mental health the first time round. The worse I got the more my boyfriend managed to show up and take care of me. I am finish a social work degree and my fiance just finished his Masters and has started working. And then I blurt out, without any grace, and much louder than I intend, Im pregnant. His eyes get wide as frisbees and he says, Wait. Wishing all loving thoughts to you. I would give anything to have my baby back. But like you said, when i see those two pink lines again, i know it will be my baby coming back to me. Oh Mommy please, just give me a chance I dont blame you for choosing to terminate your pregnancy. My eyes fixate on her belly, and I sob. im 22 years old and just had an abortion over the weekend. I loved you, my first, my only." The afternoon I found out I was pregnant with you was just like any other day waiting for my period: I was late. I told him to not come at all and I would be fine. He comes at all times of the day we talk all day we talk on the phone all the time I would have never thought. Nine nights later, the night before the appointment, I go to sleep the same way I have every night since I found out about you: heartbroken and tearful. I am with someone now and he is lovely. And each month, when it decided to, my period came. My partner said he would support me either way but I knew deep down to him it might as well have been the end of the world. How difficult this truly I am going through the same exact thing you are. I know I made the right decision, but seeing him with his kids now breaks my heart bc he didnt want the one with me right now. The article reappeared in 1980, and was turned into a song in 2005. . My heart would of gotten excited despite starting all over again. Our family was complete. I am experiencing so much guilt and pain going through this again, especially since I am 32 years old with no children and two months away from completing my masters. I cant be a single baby mama, with two baby daddies. Im always hunted by guilt almost everyday, same as you Im also working in Nursery school, so I always see kids that reminds of my poor one. I worry everyday about what y child will be like when he is here, how y decision is going to have an impact on the people around me, on those closesest to me. I dont want to let you go. You'll be grateful in eternity! Featured Shared Story I loved this poem so much, it made me cry. I wish I had made the even more difficult decision and been able to hold him and tell him how much I love him. SUBSCRIBE: $1 for 3 months. I looked at them and I couldnt believe that that potential was now inside me. This broke him completely when I got the abortion done. You have a child. Let me tell you some things about me. Maybe you can relate with "Jess," a young woman who posted her abortion story in 2019 on the Shout Your Abortion website. I was one l with you. Your baby. It's me. I was 5 weeks pregnant. They told me to think about what I wanted to do and that theyd support me regardless of my choice. I didnt know you, but I loved you. I've got twice the appetite and half the energy. Floating in your tummy, feeling snug and warm. I know you made the right decision for you! Keeps chugging along with home remodel and building his shop, and when I remind because Im STRUGGLING with being left with this choice. I also feel like taking that risk, that my baby is worth the sacrifice. Hey, came across this after searching for something to resonate with how I feel. I feel like the biggest failure in the world. The relationship was very toxic over all. But I dont regret it either. He met my dad. The procedure is done by a licensed healthcare professional. I dont want you to go through thisit never does go away. I said this is the hormones speaking and she did the right thing. but no one wants that for me. Thank you for writing this. During that time, I had to learn a lot about our choices were, and I didnt want to scroll past your comment without sharing some of that knowledge. My advice to you would be to remember that at the end of the day, and your life, you have to be able to live with yourself, so forget about what your partner wants and do what is right for you. Im broken over this. You are making the best decision for yourself at this point in time , I feel like I can relate and that give me a lil strength. I prayed on it and as days went on my baby grew inside me but my symptoms from the pregnancy and the disease increased. Know the Issues. And Im scared because Ive read what an abortion can do or affect my fertility. There are so many things I am looking forward to, and I can't wait to be held in your arms and taught by the very best mama I can think of! Sending love your way. When I first find out I was shocked because it was unplanned and I know he doesnt want a baby yet he said he is not ready and me either but deep down I dont want to do this at all and i wanna see that cute little face:(( We agreed to do abortion. A 33-year-old mother of three from central Texas is escorted down the hall by a clinic administrator prior to getting an abortion, at Hope Medical Group for Women in Shreveport, La., in late 2021. I dont know what to do at all. Many of my patients have gone through the same thing, and it is never easy. Then after that we took a break and he broke up with me on the day I got abortion and said that hes moved to a different state and didnt think he wanted to come back home. Im already a mom and I love my daughter more then anything. Does anyone else feel similar? Open Letter Concerning the Killing of "Baby Amanda" On November 3, 2022, National Public Radio (NPR) aired the sounds of the killing of a Child through abortion. I just remember lying on the table crying my eyes out begging for forgiveness till They put me to sleep . I didn't know you, but I loved you. I now have learnt something new about myself i will absolutely love to be a mother one day. I got married in December, I just found out that I am pregnant last week, Im running my masters degree and my husband isnt financially stable, feeling really sad and confused about what to do next. Im so sorry. I dont know where to go or what to research for. The law has no exception to allow an abortion to save the life of . I recently experienced my first pregnancy, at 19 years of age and with four years of nursing school ahead of me. There arent any protesters out that day and Im grateful. ??. We, unlike many stories, are able to provide and give the child a good life. The doctor walks in and is quite pregnant. I miss my baby every minute of every day. So we did. This experience has done extraordinary things to me so far i have softened and really felt into my feminine. Walgreens confirmed on March 2 that it will not distribute abortion pills in numerous statesincluding to some states where abortion is legalafter Republican attorneys general (AG) in 21 states told the company that it risked breaking federal law should it do so, Politico first reported.. Walgreens, the second-largest pharmacy chain in the United States, made the decision after receiving . I am curious as wel. Now it is 3 months later and I always find myself looking at bassinets and baby items. Share Your Story Here. Why cant we have our dreams and a baby? I had one almost six years ago and I still cry about it. Thats the last burrito hell ever order without any major care in the world, I think to myself. After I check in, I have to take another urine test. I had not passed my probation period and I wanted to prove myself, to be as good as I could be. And it bothers me that my husbands doesnt realize the pain Im going through. This apparently isnt convincing enough, and he asks if Ive taken any more havent I considered it could be a false positive? Help us continue to provide this imperative service. Iv never felt worse in my whole life. Hi Sarah, Ive just had a baby (two weeks ago) at 40, I do feel age is but a number. The World Health Organization (WHO) estimates that 42 million abortions are induced worldwide each year. .. thank you so much for this. Hes worried our quality of life will suffer for the whole family. I always imagine what he or she would have looked like and I feel I failed my child. Me and my boyfriend were going steady and were a couple but we were very young, both of us college freshmen. Letter to My Child - Abortion Memorial What is the Abortion Memorial? I feel like you put my experience and feelings into words. Surfing helps, but I know the best thing for healing is time. i know its just rational thinking, but it still hurts a lot. I regret having the abortion because of many things and I ask hem to have another baby even if my situation was the same but he said he didnt want to have a baby he was hart broken every time he see kids he would say my baby wouldve been her or his age and that kills me inside I cry for so many nights and days I still do. It hurts the relationship with my husband, and we are about to be separated as we cannot communicate anymore. My boyfriend has two children ages 18 and 13. Ever. Its not being selfish if you think about it deeper. "Please pray for this woman to continue to stand firm in her choice to give life to her unborn baby," the pro-life organization wrote. If you are in the position to do so, please consider becoming a SMBC (single mom by choice). After a further 2 weeks things started to settle down. I took a test when i got home from work and sure enough i was. God is never bored of you. He is also younger than me and nowhere near ready for a child and even moving in with me makes him scared. Couldnt take my meds or prenatals because the baby threw up everything. I love him he doesnt exactly feel the same, as per the way our relationship has gone these last few Years which caused it to end. She has told me she regrets her choice to abort the fetus, she has said that many times now. And even though he ejaculated irresponsibly, and voiced that he wanted me to become pregnant.. as soon as I was, we both knew what needed to happen and he was on board. Im sure it goes without saying from reading about my childhood but I have mental health issues and Im not sure having a child of my own is something I will ever be mentally ready for, but I certainly wasnt then. A month ago i started feeling sick and tired. I too had an abortion a couple of days ago 1/10/20. You deserve the acceptance and tolerance of a choice that is yours and yours only. He is the reason why I feel so motivated now, and although its not easy I wouldnt trade him for anything in the world. I commend you for making that choice. Hes verbally abusive, Ive spent all my money on him, no savings, lots of debt he makes the money I just make very little. According to The Mirror, a mother explained how she would be relieved if her third child died in their sleep because she was too afraid to get an abortion when she was pregnant as the pregnancy . I know I would feel his kicks by now. Because I wanted abortion, I took my first baby's life. He doesnt want to start over and says that we are too old. im so lost on how to proceed. One day, maybe. I look for my child for twenty years but I was never able to get pregnant again . I wish I could have kept him/her. I moved to another state, finished my undergrad (with a newborn) in teaching and even completed grad school also in teaching (with a toddler at the time). Maybe you feel as if your world has been turned upside-down. his mom knew, she had taken me to my appointment. Im seeking a medium to try reach her. As you can imagine, childhood and progression through young adulthood is very hard for foster children because most of our supports disappear once we turn 18 or so and are no longer eligible for the child welfare systems services. I have three healthy children 21,17 and 13 from a previous marriage. This brought me to tears. Oh, Honey. My parents were very poor but devout Catholics, so abortion was not a legal or moral option for them for any. If you can't take I felt like death every day sometimes unable to stay out longer than 2 hours outside. I believe that ultimately, our babies are still with us in a spirit. Im not ready for kids. My blood is one part plasma and two parts pinot noir. Long story short Im 26 now, engaged to my partner for the last 5 years. I know my baby deserves a life I couldnt of given her now or at that time and I know one day she will come back to me, I get excited when i think about meeting her finally one day when we are both ready, I wish I had support here so I could cry to someone who gets it, Im 23 and I had my abortion at 5 weeks and three days in April. You were crying, but I was dealing with the most pain of all. I wanted to be your special child. In his remarks before Congress, Dr. Levatino describes in gruesome detail the procedure of killing a 24-week-old unborn baby. I found out Im 6 weeks pregnant last week. I wish I could advise a podcast or supportive tv bit for her to watch. My supports at the time were my boyfriend, a few very close friends my age, and my 4 younger siblings (3 were under 6 years old at this time). The mother and daughter "were so . I am totally against abortion. Stay strong and stay encouraged. Sending love to all of you going through this situation . I read this the night before my appointment for my abortion. I miss my baby constantly. I realize this is an odd place to share this information, and I am in a much different situation now, but several years ago my partner and I struggled through severe male factor infertility when TTC my youngest. The heavy burden and guilt that I felt each day makes me question myself why I did came to that point, if I was careful enough to not make mistake. My parents would have had to raise the child on the other side of the country and I knew I wouldnt have been able to bear being away from it. After I had the abortion I desperately wanted that the doctor made a mistake and month after month I wished to be pregnant. To cheer you up when you're sad. Youre feelings and emotions emulate mine. I cry all the time and I dont think Ill ever stop. I did an abortion 10 years ago and never disclosed to my them boyfriend who is now my husband. And with this tornado in my mind, I wrapped the pee stick (that represented my fate) in toilet paper (which, I couldnt help thinking, was a pretty good metaphor for what was now my life).